Not one day goes by that I don’t think: what if we had not answered the call that God placed?
I believe God would have gotten His plan accomplished with or without us. We aren’t big enough to change His plans or His will.
So when I think about that it’s more the things I would have missed out on:
I would have missed this guys firsts. First, time rolling over, crawling, walking, going to church, saying “momma”, first Christmas, first day of K3, first time seeing fireworks, riding a ride, on and on. I got to witness everything Big so far. I think those things are heavenly gifts of all children we are given. Experiencing that as a foster mom was like surreal. Like how am I even the one that’s getting to see this?
I would have missed the joy that is Gabriel. He’s a firecracker like none I’ve met. But, oh is he a joy. He loves so Big, when he feels love I don’t know how his heart doesn’t explode. To be loved by him will change you. Because it is so real.
I would have missed seeing the bond he and Joz share. Instantaneous. There was never a time we had to work on that or cultivate it. She prayed for him and he was her answer to the prayers we prayed. It was immediate love. Without condition.
And, I would have missed the Goodness of God in this situation. And, that is my testimony. He has been good to me. In all the hard God was so faithful to me. He never left me. Even days when I couldn’t see Him, God was there. Carrying me. Like a father does. The sweet presence beside his crib at night- He was there. In the court room I begged Him to show up so many times that I could almost feel Him sitting there on the bench with us. In prison when I spoke with Gabriel’s guardian- he spoke for me. I would have missed that. I’m so thankful I didn’t. I believe when things are scary God is calling us to- It just means we already know we will have to let go and trust- that’s hard for us Momma’s- trust me. I know. But, it means it’s the right path- God wants us to need Him like water. Living water. Here’s your sign to step out of your boat of comfort. Because this is what I needed to read before I did what I had been called to too.