We were 7 days away from the judge “closing G’s case.” Meaning we were 7 days away from TPR completely being granted and just waiting on our Adoption Day!
I am not going to lie. My heart felt like someone stuck a pin in it and it deflated it in the bathroom of the hotel room as he told me the details. Knowing that my family was waiting on me to get off the phone and everyone to have a wonderful day- I was going to have to pretend it was fine when I opened the door. I really just needed more than a minute to come to terms with our new position in our case.
We are now in the waiting again. My attitude now after having a few days to feel a tiny bit sorry for myself and come back from it is this: God is asking us to wait again.
My flesh wants to so badly though just to say- I’m tired and lay down for a while.
But, last night as I was reading back over my Sunday School lesson on Habakkuk I read these words, “Look at the nations and watch– and be utterly amazed. For I am going to do something in your days that you would not believe, even if you were told.” Habakkuk 1:5.
The context being: Habakkuk the profit, ask God how long would he cry out for God to help while He wasn’t even listening. God’s reply: He was do something Habakkuk wouldn’t even begin to be able to understand… even if He told him so. He Had heard him and Had been listening to every word that was cried out. He told Habakkuk to look and be amazed at what He was going to do! (Hehe, thank you God for that timely reminder!)
Ultimately, I fail big time on that end most days (the hold on and wait part.) But, in the end I hope that those once-in-a-while days that I show faith in this hope and reassurance and that someone will see Jesus in my family- as we sit and wait to be amazed. Because He is listening even when I do not think so.