When you smile, my world turns upside down.

I prayed for him to smile.

The first night we got Gabriel was really intense. His injuries were SO severe he had a hard time trusting us to feed him a bottle. He was very apprehensive of us touching his face. His arm was broke and had been for 2 weeks without treatment. He cried in pain for hours. He had been use to falling asleep without being soothed as well. So there were huge obstacles our first night and really months. Not to mention power went out that night. Ekkk.

The first night his eyes were so hollow I can only describe it as he’d seen 1000 lifetimes before he came to us. His joy and light had been removed from his gorgeous brown eyes. Life had been sucked out of him. I remember praying for him while holding him the first night and I specifically member one part of that prayer in particular. I ask the Lord to help me help him find his joy again. For God to also fill his cup again like only he can.

And, I remember praying that if that wasn’t his will to do that and Gabriel never found joy again. If he never smiled again that I understood and to help me to be okay. Help me if this baby I held never smiled back at me or could love me back.

Because I understood why he may not be able to trust me or love me or anyone for that matter ever again.

I remember the next morning. Jared and I took turns laying beside him and trying to soothe this baby that hadn’t been soothed. I leaned up to check on him- he opened his huge brown eyes. From ear to ear and even in his eyes-

he smiled.

Tears just followed and I thanked God. That this badly hurt and bruised baby would find joy again less than 24 hours later. His smile tells me anything is possible- if he can smile anyone can. Let me tell you it lights up the whole room every time he does.

This video was from a few weeks after and he was healing great. But, this is the smile that is one of many answered prayers. Thank God for restoration and joy. Trauma still peaks it’s ugly head, but joy and laughter is from Jesus.