Saw this picture of G from 2 years ago. So powerful with his, “Make G a Kelley” shirt. This same day lots of other people wore the same shirt.
I remember thinking about that in the court room. How so many people cared that couldn’t actually be in there. But, I remember the walk to take the stand to testify too. I remember the ringing in my ears. I have never once felt that ever. It was like the stress became so great I could almost not hear. I remember thinking I may not remember which hand is my right hand to place on the Bible. Silly I know. But, I literally had to take the stand, tell of the abuse to a child I love with my whole heart, I don’t know if you can explain it other than that it was that profound.
Literally, telling of the most awful thing I had ever known of to a room filled with lawyers.
I placed the tissue I held on the way up in my left so I would put my right on the Bible. The judge sweetly smiled and I sat.
I afraid for a split second my heart may just stop- (that thought crossed my mind.)
Our lawyer Jim had told me what he would ask me. He would ask me about getting the call to take him as a placement in our home. (To answer this one- they told me I may want to see a picture of him first before I decided since he was in such bad condition. That we needed to decide if it was something we were “up for.”)
He would then ask me how I felt when I saw him for the first time. What I remembered about his appearance. What I remember about his eyes. How our first nights were here. How car rides at night were. How night time is now. How we feel about him. How JN feels about him.
And, lastly What song makes him settle down when he’s scared. (It’s You Are My Sunshine.)
Then, “No further questions your honor.”
When I could breath at the end of that last line. I felt this awareness now that the entire room was in tears- including the Judge.
I felt like God had somehow shut my mouth and spoke for G. Because it went from my heart exploding to his story was told. Like I was under water and came up.
A story that so needed to be heard for justice. I was so thankful that my nervous words were overlooked. That God works when we literally can’t.
XO.
