FB reminded me that today was 2 years since I took Joz to see Dumbo. {keep reading}
Two years ago today G had to go on an all day visit with a family that wanted to also have G live with them forever. Our case worker picked him up early that morning and we literally watched him just leave that day. He had an 8-10 hour visit. This was called a transition visit. Because this time two years ago we were told G would most likely be leaving and needed to start transitioning. I had dressed him nice and made grilled chicken for him, shredded it, and packed it. I had wrote a note about what made him nervous and scared, and what he needed in case he started to have a PTSD “spell.” Then I watched him ride away. It was like part of my heart got in that car. I worried if his seatbelt was tight enough and if he knew I didn’t have a choice in the matter.
But, for the 6 year old that was there beside me who watched her brother leave who also felt worried and confused, I had planned the best date. Mainly, to keep us both occupied while Jared worked and G was away so we didn’t just sit at home and feel sorry for ourselves. We headed to eat breakfast and then to Target to shop, finally we went and watched Dumbo.
Until, then we had been okay. Sad, but staying on the move and trying to just literally hold my life together for my baby that was also missing her brother. That was until I remembered what actually happens in Dumbo. Yep, right off the bat that sweet baby is taken from his Momma. How did I forget that when planning our day?
Literally, I started to cry. Then every thing I had held in came out. I cried through the entire thing. I cried so hard I couldn’t see the screen.
Finally, Joz leaned over and said, “Momma, you know in the end Dumbo comes back to his momma, remember?”
One of those moments where you need your kid more than they need you.
Serving Jesus was hard that day. Like Real Hard. I will never forget it. But, he never promised us easy just to trust. I also will NEVER watch Dumbo again Ever. Lol. But, how different our life is 2 years later and I am very thankful. God is good.
“Rest your head close to my heart never to part, baby of mine.” – Mrs. Jumbo
