Want to know a secret I’ve been holding on to?
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A few months ago I wrote a blog post on the urgency of the Lord. I wrote the post at 7:00am the morning we were to get the call he was legally free.
An hour later we would get the call saying he wasn’t legally free and that would be where we still are- an appeal period.
I had woken up excited like a kid on Christmas morning. No one else was awake and I woke up and in the stillness and gratefulness of that hour wrote a post about the one concern I was feeling. I have not told many people about this because for months I have blamed myself and I never shared because of that.
I wrote about how I wanted to need God as much when G is free as I have when he hasn’t been free. I wrote about how much over the past two years I have learned to lean on The Father. I wrote as happy and thrilled as I am I want to still be as close to my Savior as I’ve learned I needed to be for two years now.
How the urgency of possibly loosing my child had in a sense made me desperately need The Father so greatly that my relationship with Him was better than ever.
How I knew God just understood me- He himself gave His only Son for the sins of world. For a people that would reject him and not love him as he should be loved.
Oh, I wrote about how if some days no one got what I was feeling He surely did. Hallelujah!
So I wrote it all down even partially feeling confused as to why I felt this way? I mean this is moment we had longed for (and still are) just a moment of peace to legally be a family.
And, as much as I want that I wanted to still feel the Lord’s presence so near.
We got the call to telling us about the appeal minutes later. I have carried that weight now for months. That somehow I got what I ask for at the expense of my family.
But, man I have to come to find the peace the Bible talks about that passes all understanding. (Besides, no one can change His will☺️)
That the Lord already knew everything that would happen in our story. That he is building our testimony and this is just another little nugget of it for me to share. Because when people ask where we are I always say, “Another appeal but, we aren’t angry. We have peace.” …
XO.
